in the river of technology. Oh, just for fun, let’s go through the list of everything that’s decided to go TU on me in the last few days. And let’s add up the number of hours spent online/on the phone with the various tech departments. And, just for some more giggles, let’s figure out how many of those technogadgets in my life are now operational.

1) Clearwire internet service. Speeds have dropped precipitously to an average of 400kbps. No obvious reason for that, but after 3 hours spent with their tech department restarting Windows again and again, we’ve concluded that it’s in no way my fault and that they will have to go climb some towers to figure it out. Should be an answer in about a week. NOT CURRENTLY OPERATIONAL.

2) MVKatherineJane website. Yes, well, we’ve already beaten that one into the ground. Suffice it to say that I’ve even given my password to my ex-husband so that he can help ~ I’m that desperate. He’s chatted online with their techs, I’ve chatted online with their techs. Currently no one knows where my domain is. Best guess is Australia right now. Probably 4 hours on that one. NOT CURRENTLY OPERATIONAL.

3) Katherine Jane email. See #2. And given the fact that I had *just* sent out notice to everyone I know that my old address was no longer active and this would be my exclusive one, it’s ironic that I now have no functioning email services whatsoever. If you have emailed me in the last several days, assume I did not get it. A couple more hours here. NOT CURRENTLY OPERATIONAL.

4) New AT&T; phone. Actually this was a win. My old Treo was finally to the point of dropping calls completely randomly and shutting off when it felt like it. The guy at the phone store thought he was looking at a relic when he saw it, muttering to himself “I can’t believe you still had it” over and over again. Am I the only one in the world who thinks that a 6 year old phone really shouldn’t be utterly obsolete? Anyway, that was 45 minutes well spent. CURRENTLY OPERATIONAL.

5) The washer/dryer. This was the crushing blow. Something about the motor. I’ve spent about 10 minutes with their tech support, who kindly offered to email me the training manual, as we seemed competent enough to do a bit of troubleshooting. Note, he offered to “email” it to me. I’m sure he was puzzled by the bitterness in my laugh. NOT CURRENTLY OPERATIONAL.

I don’t dare drive the BMW. It’s been temperamental enough recently and I don’t want to give it the “everybody else is doing it” excuse.