Archive | August 12, 2007

Destination: Hell (with a view)

I finally have a buddy in my club! For years I’ve been the only person I know whose family firmly believes I am going to hell and have no qualms saying so. I’ve never been quite certain as to their reasoning (and who made them The Deciders, anyway?). I don’t smoke, do drugs, kick puppies. I volunteer for Search and Rescue, help my little town with Clean-Up Day and other civic projects, and my children are well-behaved and intelligent. I’ll admit I have occasional poor taste in men, as evidenced by recent events, but that hardly seems reason to condemn me.

Nonetheless, I am in possession of a letter from my own grandmother stating that I am destined for the netherworld (but she loves me anyway, as she is quick to point out). I have never for a moment claimed that my family was anything resembling normal.

Well, a dear friend of mine was joking with his 12 y/o son about the movie Caddyshack and the Baby Ruth scene. As he and his family were on their way to a waterpark, it evidently struck his wife as inappropriate and she, in all seriousness, informed him that he was going to hell.

His response? “Yep, I already have my cabin reserved on The Lake Of Fire.”

Love that man.